Monday, January 31, 2011

Monday January 31, 2011

Im not posting my weight today, Im going to weigh again tomorrow and hope that I misread the scale today.

Since I will be starting my workouts with the personal trainer this week, I wanted to take updated measurements (especially since I havent since starting. These measurements were taken this morning:

Starting Waist: 41 inches (OUCH!)
Today:39.5 inches (-1.5)
Starting Hips: 46 inches
Today: 43 inches (-3)
Starting Thighs: 27 inches
Today: 25 inches (-2)
Starting Arms: 14 inches
Today: 12.75 inches (-1.25)
Total inches lost: 7.75!!!!

Tonight I will be running w2d2 of c25k. Ive started getting to the point where I really look forward to my workouts even though I will have moments of dread. I just remind myself that it is only 30 minutes and those 30 minutes are all M.I.N.E. Ive also noticed that Im really feeling a lot better overall and actually do have more energy! I really wish I could conquer this food demon thats riding my back these days.

Ive gotten to a point that Im getting a little obsessed with my eating and food choices. I feel such tremendous guilt after many of my meals and then if the scale isnt showing progress, it just makes it worse. Ive set a goal for myself and I cannot let myself down- I MUST meet that goal. We're talking 55lbs in 5 months. If I lose 2lbs/week from here on out, I will be at about 45lbs by my goal date so I have to make up something somewhere. I cant imagine that dieting and getting 30 minutes of daily exercise and at least an hour of strength training every week wont help me make up that 10 lbs.

I really hate the way that food controls my life. Its almost as if I have no control over it or I have to have such severe control over it that its unhealthy. Well, I guess either option is unhealthy, isnt it? Ive got to get this weight off for myself and for my boys. AND- Ive got to keep it off.

Ive lost my momentum and my direction with this post. I will post again tomorrow and hopefully I will get my mojo back.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Monday January 24, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Todays weight: 185
Two weeks weight loss: -2.5 lb
Total weight loss: -19 lbs

Sorry for not posting the previous week. I had only lost 0.5lbs and I was a bit down. As much as I love vacations, it is really hard to make yourself eat well while on one!

I finally started C25K this past week!!! Im on W1D2 today and I am walking on my "off" days. I have already decided that I truly hate the treadmill. It seems so much harder than running on the ground. I feel like Im a one man elephant stampede on that damn thing, but I. Will. Not. Quit. Im hoping to see my weight loss pick up now that I will be working out daily. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Im supposed to return to work tomorrow as long as the BOE got my paperwork from the doctor. As much as I dont want to return to work, I really need to. I will be working out with a PE teacher that is a certified physical trainer 2 days a week though. I am determined to run the Warrior Dash in May come hell or high water!

We have to leave for a playdate in an hour so I'd better get the crew ready to get out of here. If I get a chance, I will post again later. I finally found a picture of the 130 pound mommy =).

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Leave it to a shopping trip....

Ugh- leave it to a shopping trip to make me feel like a disgusting, fat pig again. I have been feeling so good about my weight loss but its amazing what 10 minutes in a dressing room will do to you!

I have to go back to work in 2 very SHORT weeks so I figured I would go spend some of the money on my gift cards getting some basic pieces to get me through work until I lose more weight. I didnt want to spend a lot of money because I dont plan on fitting into these clothes very long. By the time I was done shopping, I felt like I had been beaten with the fatty stick.

I have decided that I will not shop at JC Penney anymore. I NEVER leave their dressing room feeling even halfway decent about myself. I swear they have fat mirrors in their dressing rooms. Either I am completely delusional about how I look or the mirrors there are not becoming. I would think that EVERY dressing room would have "skinny" mirrors. Wouldnt more people be likely to buy clothes if they look good?

Store #2- NY and Company. Dressing room mirrors werent terrible and I found a couple of shirts that I liked, but I didnt like them enough to pay $36 for one when I dont plan on wearing it long.

Store #3- Sears/Lands End. I managed to leave here with 2 sweaters and 3 long sleeved shirts- one crew neck, two V-neck. I think the mirrors there are very similar to the ones I have at home and being successful finding something to wear helped to improve my mood a bit. 5 tops for $60. Not bad!

The biggest issue I notice that I am having is pants. I have the hardest time finding a pair of pants that fit me properly. I just want a pair of basic khaki pants to get me through a month or two so I have something besides black pants and jeans to wear. I think I am going to head to Old Navy and see what I can find there. I tend to have the best luck with the fit of pants at ON compared to other stores. I guess short and fat just isnt "in" these days.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Monday January 10, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Todays weight: 187.5
Last weeks weight loss: 3 lb
Total weight loss: -16.5 lbs

Good week! Im feeling pretty good and right back on track. As much as I love the holidays, Im really glad that the temptation is over. Im going to set a goal of 2.5 lbs for this week.

You know, peoples perceptions of the numbers involved in one's weight are so personal. I have a friend that was freaking out because her scale hit 150 lbs. Ummm, she was 8 months pregnant! I was SO excited to be in the 180's again today that I could just giggle. That little change in the number on the scale was a huge amount of motivation to shoot for the next big goal.... the 170's.

One of my sorority sisters posted about the Warrior Dash so it piqued my interest. I looked it up and now Im determined to participate! I found out that there are a few folks at work that are participating and I cant wait to get started. I think this is just the kind of thing that I need to give myself direction and drive for training. If I continue with Weight Watchers and start training after school with the c25k program as well as weight training, I should be able to do this. Am I anticipating that I may win? Hell no. Am I determined to finish? Hell yeah!

So, here's to the 180's, a renewed sense of motivation and being so close to: 25% of my weight loss goal (18.5 lbs) as well as 10% body weight lost (20.5 lbs)!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Monday January 3, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Todays weight: 190.5
Two weeks weight loss: 2.5 lb
Total weight loss: -13.5 lbs

Sorry I missed last week- it was a bit hectic.

13.5 lbs in 5 weeks... not too shabby! Especially considering that the last 3 weeks have been terribly difficult and I know that I havent stuck to the plan completely throughout those 3 weeks. I must confess that I ate horribly this past week and am very grateful that I have lost as opposed to gained.

Im still struggling with my control over food. I find that it has control of me more than I have control of it. Case in point: last night Jeff brought McDonald's home for dinner. No problem, I know my points for the food I eat at McD's. Unfortunately, he brought home something different because the people at the McD's he went to are douche bags. Anyway (sorry, I got a little sidetracked), it was some giant 1/3 lb angus burger or something like that. I got about 1/2 way through the burger and recognized that I was full. I even thought to myself, "Self, you're full. You shouldnt eat any more of this burger." Unfortunately, I wasnt very convincing because I ate the whole damn thing anyway. Of course, that binge was followed by extreme remorse. Then I started thinking, maybe I can work out a little bit tonight to make up for it (which I didnt do... of course). Then I started obsessing over my weight. I actually got on the scale, which I promised myself I wouldnt do until it was weigh in time (Monday mornings).

Although I am very glad to still be losing, I am a bit disappointed in my performance these past few weeks. I really need to reach down and find that inner strength that I know I have and drag it out. It may come kicking and screaming, but damn it... It will come!