Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Monday December 20, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Todays weight: 193
This weeks weight loss: 1 lb
Total weight loss: -11 lbs

Well, happy birthday to me! This week was tough for me since I turned (*gulp*) 35 (twenty-fifteen in my brain) on Friday the 17th. Im a little disappointed that I only lost 1lb, but I cant say that Im surprised. There was a lot of eating out due to holiday shopping and I had my birthday which meant pizza at my moms on Friday (my actual birthday) and Filet and Shrimp with noodles and fried rice at Fuji followed by cake batter ice cream with 2 Oreos mushed into it at Cold Stone Creamery with Jeff on Saturday. I did skip all goodies at the movies after dinner =). The extent of my exercise was just the walking around while shopping so that really wasnt sufficient.

I am setting a weight loss goal of 4 lbs for this week. I really want to get out of the 190's! As part of my birthday gift from my mother, I got The 30 Day Shred video by Jillian Michaels. Im hoping to get that started this week as well as doing C25K. I have managed to delete all calories from my beverages, switching to all diet drinks. I hate all of the artificial sweeteners, but I cant have all of those extra calories from sugar. I would much rather eat my calories than drink them. I also think that this will be much easier once the holidays are over and I will be eating at home most of the time.

Tomorrow I will be going out to lunch with my sister-in-law at Sakura (another Japanese steakhouse) and then to Joann's to get some more gifts so I will save my breakfast points for lunch =).

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Monday December 13, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Today's weight: 194
This weeks weight loss: 4 lbs
Total weight loss: -10 lbs!!!

After the busy week that I had last week, I was so afraid that I didn't lose any weight. I was SO excited to see that I had. I have officially lost 5% of my body weight. (It makes me feel good to say it that way) My first goal is actually 10% of my body weight so I am halfway there!

I did stay within my WW points limits (although barely) but I did it while eating some pretty crappy foods. It is really difficult to make good choices while out holiday shopping, celebrating birthdays (HBD Pop!) and gallivanting around to different appointments. We ate out quite a bit last week. Cheesecake Factory (including cheesecake!), Chic-Fil-A (twice) and pizza (twice).

I'm finding it very difficult to be OK with my eating as long as I am within my point range. I know that I should still have about 3 points left for today yet I feel horrible guilt about what I have eaten and want to be able to get on the treadmill and work some of it off. I hate these feelings. Perhaps the feeling that I hate the most is the feeling that I am not in control of my eating- the most prevalent feeling that I have when it comes to food. What a horrible feeling it is too. Why does something that is simply supposed to nourish my body so I can enjoy everything and everyone around me have to be one of the things that I enjoy the most? Why cant I enjoy some yogurt as much as I enjoy that frozen pizza? Why is it so much easier to make excuses rather than make changes?

My wonderful husband let me pick out some running shoes for my birthday present and he bought them for me this past weekend. I still need to get some decent, WARM work out clothes that fit properly but I can make do until then. Unfortunately it is about 20* outside right now and has been for the past 3 or so days, so I haven't been able to try to get outside and get started on c25k. My next goal is going to be to get my room cleaned up enough so that I can use the treadmill to get started... so I can stop making excuses and start making changes.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Monday December 6, 2010

Weight: 198 (it may be 197, but its hard to read the little lines on the scale so I'm going with the bigger number)

Change: -6 (Hell yeah!)

I spent a good part of yesterday worrying about what was going to happen when I stepped on the scale this morning. I was absolutely terrified that I would get on there and that I wouldn't have lost weight. It is so encouraging to know that the diet is working!

I was unable to get any exercise this week, but I definitely have the motivation. Now I need the shoes, the clothes and the time. Hmmmmm....

So, I spent some time thinking about this past week and wondering what was the most difficult. Hands down, it had to be the trip to the grocery store. Who could have ever imagined that something as menial as going to the grocery store would make me feel so horrible? I felt like a junkie in a crack den! My mouth would literally water as I walked down the aisles. All I could see was all of the foods that I couldn't eat. I didn't even walk down every aisle- I took a list and I stuck to it. I also took my Weight Watchers point calculator so I could determine the point values of some foods to help me determine if they were good choices. I'm sure I looked like a crazy lady reading the labels and putting information into my super secret, tiny spy computer. Regardless of how crazy I looked, I wasn't nearly as crazy as the lady the asked me if I wanted one of the Tweety Bird nightgowns that she had in her cart. When I told her "No thank you", she said, "I just thought I would try to do something nice for someone else". WHAT??? Her lazy ass didn't want to take the damn thing back to the rack she got it from. The WORST part of the whole situation was that it was a total mu mu. It was a size 2X and looked like a giant tent. I could have cried right then. All I could think was, Is that how people see me? Am I really that big? That was plenty of motivation to get out of the store with nothing except the items on my list.

I couldn't believe how truly torturous it was for me to do [what should be] a simple task. Ive decided that I'm not going back by myself. A chaperone is now required for all trips to the grocery store... I may even make him hold my hand.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Monday November 29, 2010

Ok, I realize that it isn't Monday, but its been a busy week and all of my measurements and such were taken on Monday.

I must admit, I've been in a bit of denial. I didn't think I was but my shock at my actual measurements proved it. It's very embarrassing and difficult for me to post this "out there" but I'm going to do it anyway.

As of 11/29/10, my measurements are:

Weight: 204 (either I've gained 2 lbs or its the fact that I am now using my scale, either way, this is the scale I will be using regularly so 204 it is)
Waist: 41 inches (OUCH!)
Hips: 46 inches
Thighs: 27 inches (I remember when my WAIST was 27 inches)
Arms: 14 inches

I've started counting my weight watchers points and I haven't gone over at all yet. Hopefully I will see some results when I get on the scale on Monday. I have not had the opportunity to really exercise, but I have been wanting to. I see that as a step in the RIGHT direction. I'm actually quite excited about starting the C25K program. I want to be one of those people that find peace in running. Have you ever seen What Women Want with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt? I keep picturing myself as the woman in the Nike commercial where it's just me and the road. You know, No Games... Just Sports. I picture myself healthy and strong, taking 30 minutes every day to just relieve my stress and be me for a while. Not Victoria the wife or Victoria the teacher or Victoria the mom, just M.E.

Im having a hard time finding the pictures that I want to post, but I will keep looking. I have pictures of me when I had that 27 inch waist, when I actually was the 130 (127) lb Victoria (I cant say mommy because I wasn't at that point). I will probably have to take pictures of pictures, but you will get the point. I will try to work on it by Monday so you have a little something interesting to look at.

Wish me luck. I would love to see 199 on the scale come Monday!