Monday December 13, 2010

Starting weight: 204
Today's weight: 194
This weeks weight loss: 4 lbs
Total weight loss: -10 lbs!!!

After the busy week that I had last week, I was so afraid that I didn't lose any weight. I was SO excited to see that I had. I have officially lost 5% of my body weight. (It makes me feel good to say it that way) My first goal is actually 10% of my body weight so I am halfway there!

I did stay within my WW points limits (although barely) but I did it while eating some pretty crappy foods. It is really difficult to make good choices while out holiday shopping, celebrating birthdays (HBD Pop!) and gallivanting around to different appointments. We ate out quite a bit last week. Cheesecake Factory (including cheesecake!), Chic-Fil-A (twice) and pizza (twice).

I'm finding it very difficult to be OK with my eating as long as I am within my point range. I know that I should still have about 3 points left for today yet I feel horrible guilt about what I have eaten and want to be able to get on the treadmill and work some of it off. I hate these feelings. Perhaps the feeling that I hate the most is the feeling that I am not in control of my eating- the most prevalent feeling that I have when it comes to food. What a horrible feeling it is too. Why does something that is simply supposed to nourish my body so I can enjoy everything and everyone around me have to be one of the things that I enjoy the most? Why cant I enjoy some yogurt as much as I enjoy that frozen pizza? Why is it so much easier to make excuses rather than make changes?

My wonderful husband let me pick out some running shoes for my birthday present and he bought them for me this past weekend. I still need to get some decent, WARM work out clothes that fit properly but I can make do until then. Unfortunately it is about 20* outside right now and has been for the past 3 or so days, so I haven't been able to try to get outside and get started on c25k. My next goal is going to be to get my room cleaned up enough so that I can use the treadmill to get started... so I can stop making excuses and start making changes.