October 15, 2011

Wow- Was my last post REALLY on August 30th? Now that Im back to school (both work and college) I find that I dont have much time for posting. So... some updates:

My first half marathon was AWESOME!!! Philadelphia is a beautiful city and I am now a firm believer that the best way to see a city is to run it. I was feeling great for most of the run until about mile 11. At that point there was a slight grade to the course and I started feeling it in my legs. I struggled a little bit that last 1-2 miles, but I didnt stop and I didnt walk. My goal was to run the entire thing and










I DID!!! I ran my first half marathon in 2:41. Am I fast? Not by any means! But I did it damn it and that is all that matters! It wasnt pretty once I crossed the finish line though. It was as if my leg muscles seized up. It was horrible and wonderful all at the same time.

Two weeks later, I ran my second half- the Diva Half in Long Island. My Friend Kristy told me that I needed MORE GU!!! Yes, more Gu along the course and I should be ok... no more of that nasty muscle seizing thing I went through in Philly. Now, if you're not familiar with Gu, its some nasty stuff. Not solid, not liquid, but rather some disgusting in between consistency. She advised me to Gu it up every 3-4 miles. SO- 1 Gu before, 1 Gu at mile 4, then another at miles 7 and 10. Well, wouldnt ya know it? It worked! I finished strong and felt frickin' AMAZING when I finished!!!! (3 minutes faster than 2 weeks prior at 2:38) I could have seriously kept on running (hence my decision that I may actuallly pursue 26.2).

So, what's next? 5 miles on Saturday October 22nd, 5 more on 11/6 (maybe) and then another 5 on my birthday. I think running is the best way to start out my 37th year and Im hoping to have a bunch of folks there with me, helping me celebrate. After that, I dont have any definite plans beside training for a triathlon in the spring. (Yes, I said T-R-I-A-T-H-L-O-N)

Now- onto other things.

My weight loss journey (where this whole blog STARTED) has come to a screeching halt and Ive decided that it is time to do something about it. I am going to be on a strict 1200 calorie diet and Im going to be blogging about it weekly again. Its time to get rid of this last 30ish lbs!

So, stay tuned folks and please send me all of your weight loss and motivation mojo!

August 30, 2011

I just got back from a terrible run. I did a most excellent 10 miles on 8.20.11, then started having some weird calf tenderness and aching in my right knee. I decided that being ready for my half marathon was more important that my 100 days of running and took a few days off. It was so difficult to not get out there everyday and get a least a mile in, but I refrained and my body is much happier with me because of it. Ive also been battling a bit of a cold/sinus infection and Im thinking that played the biggest role in the most horrible 4ish miles Ive ever run. It felt like my first time out there! Its amazing how discouraging ONE bad run can be. I just have to keep reminding myself that I CAN do it. If I can do 10, I sure as HELL can do 13.1!

I had my first appointment with the nutritionist last week and she is having me do a more detailed food journal for 5 days. I have to fax what I have to her tomorrow and I will see her again on Thursday afternoon. Im terrified of what she is going to say. Ive already cried in front of her once, Im really hoping not to do that again. Its so very difficult to talk to someone about something that is so incredibly embarrassing like my food issues are. My break from running is also going to make me look like a liar since Ive already told her that I run every day.

Its funny, when Im running I think of all kinds of things that I want to say when I finally get behind the computer but when I actually sit down to write, I cant remember any of it. I guess that's God's way of telling me to get off of my fat ass and clean this house then get my homework done!

August 19, 2011

This post is going to be quite a bummer, prepare yourselves.

Im struggling- bad. You can only plateau for so long before becoming terribly discouraged. Its been 3 months and it seems that no matter WHAT I do, my weight just wont change. The good thing about that is if I have a few bad days, I dont gain a lot (if at all!). The bad thing is that I can bust my ass dieting and running for weeks (months actually) and get NO results. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Nyet. NOTHING. Same damn number taunting me on the scale Every. Damn. Day. Seriously, what the F#@k? I still have 35ish pounds to lose and they act like they're taking up permanent residence.

Ive tried:
1. eating more
2. eating less
3. modifying my running schedule
4. counting calories rather than WW points
5. giving up artificial sweeteners

Im about to start eating cinnamon by the spoonful and going nuts with the cayenne in our food.

I now have an appointment with a nutritionist as my next step. I know I eat more processed foods than I should, but I dont eat them in excess (most of the time anyway). I need to get back to the basics I guess. Salad and some sort of protein.

Mostly, Im frustrated. Im busting my ass and not getting results. THEN, when I get discouraged and eat like a freaking maniac I spend the rest of the day wallowing in remorse. Yeah, like right now.

So- Im going to post what I actually ate today as punishment for being such a freaking glutton.

2 scrambled eggs.
6ish garlic knots
4 slices of a NY style 12" pepperoni pizza
an entire order of crazy bread
2 slices of LC pepperoni pizza
a hershey bar with almonds
a coke
a Big Red soda

Everything else was zero calorie beverages. How freaking embarrassing. Im guessing that is approximately 66 points??? Umm, yeah... My daily allowed points right now is 29.

Im going to go change my son's stinky butt and wallow in my misery for a while. Maybe I'll manage to cry or something.

Its also day 49 and I havent run yet. For the first time in these 49 days, Ive actually contemplated just not doing it. THAT is sad. Of course, you know I will... one way or another.

Today's overall feeling? I. Suck. All I want is to have control of my food rather than my food having control of me!

Thank goodness tomorrow's a new day.

August 1, 2011

Taking the week off of dieting? Giant F.A.I.L. The scale this morning read...

168 lbs

Genius idea, V. Have a major love affair with food and think that it will actually HELP your diet. I swear I'm smart. I even have a college degree! Sometimes stupid things DO happen to smart people.

So, I'm back at it today. Well, I lied- I'm back at it TOMORROW. For some reason I had a really hard time stepping away from the food today. I'm feeling quite discouraged and its making it hard to stay on the wagon. I have walked or run every day so I haven't lost sight of my 100 day challenge. (I had to walk 2 days due to a pulled muscle in my calf that was injured while playing Wizards, Giants and Elves in one of my grad classes. Yeah... don't ask).

I did do my PR 7.25 miles on Saturday and I'm feeling good about Rock'N Roll coming up in only 48 days! At one point in time, I obsessed about whether or not I would be able to go the distance. Now all I obsess about is my weight/food. I haven't seen the damn scale go down in about 3 months now and its just leaving me feeling completely defeated. I start feeling pretty good about myself then I see a picture and it just makes me feel worse. Why the hell wont this freaking weight come off?!?!?!?! I made an appointment with my physician for Wednesday to talk about the hair loss and other myriad of things that are bothering me and I'm hoping he can refer me to a dietitian/nutritionist. I CANNOT fail at this weight loss journey! I'm doing this for my boys more than for myself. I just don't know what to do anymore. Am I really going to be resigned to eating salads for the rest of my life? Don't get me wrong, I love me some rabbit food every now and again, but I don't think I can handle it all the time. I guess that if that is what I have to do, then that is what I will do.

As I'm sure you can tell, I'm feeling quite defeated today. Weight loss is the only thing at which I have been unable to be successful. Of all of the things I have undertaken in my life, THIS one thing... this one MOST IMPORTANT thing is the one that I find myself repeatedly failing to do. Why do I obsess over food? Why is it one of the top things I think about daily? Honestly- the number one thing I think about is my kids. Number 2 is probably food.

That's just not normal.

July 21, 2011

So, instead of taking the weekend off from my diet, I'm taking the whole damn week off. Maybe it will kick start my metabolism a little so I can start losing again! I have been weighing myself daily to make sure I don't overdo it too much and I haven't gained anything (in fact, it appears as if Ive actually LOST a pound!) so I'm not worrying about it right now. This never ending plateau is killing my spirit so I need to step away for a minute and just focus on my running before I lose my mother loving mind.

Speaking of running, this insane heat wave is really putting a damper on my running. I have been running on the treadmill and while that is great for intervals and my short runs, it sucks for my longer runs. I need to get outside for those and cant very well do that if its 100*+ outside.

Warning: Geek alert!

I have a pretty close knit group of online friends. We've been friends for over a year and a handful of us see each other pretty regularly since we live close enough. Since we only really get to talk online, it is easy to get sucked into conversations instead of doing what you need to do around the house (well, it is for me anyway!). So, even though I miss them terribly , I have taken a break from the group in order to try to get my life put together so I can stop feeling like a hamster on a wheel.



Yeah, that ^ pretty much sums it up!

While on hiatus I have:

1. Gone on a surprise vacation. Yup, it was a SURPRISE vacation. J had his dates wrong and we got lucky enough to be able to switch our reservation and leave that same day. Molly was boarded and she didn't seem to enjoy the experience. It took a couple of days of being home before she returned to herself and started eating normally again. Poor pooch.

2. Potty trained JD. Well, at least partially. He will urinate on the potty every time but bowel movements are inconsistent. Regardless, he is a potty training rock star in my eyes, especially since he's only 2!

3. Cleaned our bedroom. Yes, you heard me right... I cleaned our bedroom and it took me TWO WHOLE DAYS. I have to admit though, my mother (yeah, I asked my mommy to help and she is doing a stellar job. Wait... maybe that's because we're paying her) and I have done a kick ass job! J actually commented that we could fit a few kids in there. I'll get to that later.

4. Mostly sorted and organized all of the boys clothes according to size and season. A dear friend is about to have a baby boy so I'm going to let her go through everything, then we're going to yard sale most of the stuff.

5. I'm on day 20 of 100 days of running. Yes, I have run 20 days straight.

6. Met one of my college sorority sisters for happy hour. We haven't seen each other in 10ish years so that was pretty kick ass.

Would I say that my life is in order right now? Not quite yet, but its definitely closer than it was a few weeks ago.

Lastly- I am desperately trying to convince J that we MUST have another baby. I think I have him convinced that we should have one, now Ive just got to convince him that we need to get the ball rolling in September! I NEED another baby. Ive always wanted 3 kids and I am super excited to actually have them.

So. There ya have it y'all. My life in a nutshell. This isn't my usual type of post, but I thought I would try to remind myself of the things that I have accomplished and hope that focusing on that will keep my mind off of the fact that my body just doesn't seem to want to shed any more weight. Once Monday rolls around, I'm back on track and hoping to finally see some more results.

July 17, 2011 Part Deux

Sunday: 1 mile
Monday: 1-2 miles
Tuesday: intervals
Wednesday: 3 miles
Thursday: intervals
Friday: 1 mile
Saturday: Long run, increasing by 1 mile every week.

This is what I am looking at for my running schedule through mid October. This week will be a trial run (no pun intended) and I will try to do some cross training with it in order to switch things up a bit and try to keep my legs fresh. I don't want to injure myself while training for my first ever half marathon. It does break the rules of 100 days of running, but I WILL be running every day and (to me) that is what is most important.

So far as my dieting goes, I took the weekend off. I didn't count points and enjoyed 3 slices of pepperoni pizza from Piazza Italia last night after my long run (which burned 736 calories according to my Nike+ app, thank you very much) and I washed it down with a regular Sprite. It was heavenly. I ate what I wanted and didn't worry about it for a single second. Of course, now I have to face the scale in the morning but Im hoping that all will be ok. And if its not? Well, back on the horse I guess....

July 17, 2011

I ran with KF (the wife of a colleague and a new running buddy) last night for my "long" run. It was just under 6 miles and it would have been OK if it werent for 2 things:

1. potty issues
2. my calves

I dont know what it is with my body choosing the absolutely WORST time to want to evacuate, but it never fails. I wouldnt have minded that much if it werent for the fact that I was running with KF. She is a MUCH faster runner than I am and I always try to step up my game when Im running with her. We ended up having to walk about 1/2 mile last night because I was afraid that I would soil myself. We had quite a laugh about it.

The issue with my calves seems pretty obvious. They're tired! Im running every day for this 100 days of running challenge while training for the half marathon and I think I need to re-evaluate a little. After talking with KF (my running guru that inspired me to do the 100 days of running) Im going to switch up the program a little. According to the website 100daysofrunning.com, you are supposed to run 30 minutes every day for 100 days. Ive been thinking about it and I understand the importance of the cardiovascular benefits of having a minimum of 30 minutes of running, but to me the most important part is the fact that I am getting out there and running EVERY DAY. So, Ive come to a decision. Since Im not actually emailing my information to the website for an official 100 days of running t-shirt, Im going to do a combination of shorter and longer runs. Im thinking 1 long run, 2 days of intervals, 2 three-ish milers, and 2 short (1 mile) runs every week. Am I still running every day? Yes. Am I still going to make this a lifelong habit after 100 days? Yes. Do I have to run for 30 minutes to make that happen? No. Ive got 2 half marathons coming up that I have GOT to get focused on and my legs are never "fresh". They're always tired and that makes the long run so much harder. Im hoping the change in my running schedule will make a difference.

I will be going to get blood drawn tomorrow for the Dr to check my thyroid and vitamin D. I know my vitamin D had tanked again, but Ive been taking 5,000IU daily for about 2 weeks now so hopefully that will be going up. Maybe we will find an answer as to why Im not losing anymore weight right now. Ive got 34 more pounds to go and really wanted to get it off before I actually manage to convince Jeff to have another baby. I dont see that actually happening (the 34 lbs part) since if we do it, we will need to get pregnant in Aug/Sept/Oct. Oh well... the journey may take longer than expected, but it never ends...